creative ways of responding to RNC mailings

E-mailer #1 writes:
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On the outside of the envelope in red:

EMERGENCY NOTICE

The Obama Democrats and their left-wing special interst allies have come together in a united front ...
My friends, the last thing we Republicans can afford is to have our hands tied behind our backs because their candidate broke his promise to the american people ...

... fundraising goal of $30 million in the next 15 days ...

... the weeks ahead will be the most important in our battle to defeat the democrats and their deeply flawed policies that embrace higher taxes, more government spending, socialized medicine, and surrender in Iraq.

John McCain

The envelope is postage paid. If I send it back - no money, of course - who will pay? The NRC or the US?
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E-mailer #2 responds:
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Go to the physics dept and ask the particle physics experimental types for a sheet of depleted uranium
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FtC responded:
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lead would probably do almost as well. :-)
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E-mailer #2 replied:
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about 1.7x Pb - but nothing says it quite like depleted uranium.